


new lines

by watergator



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Needles, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:49:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21538513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watergator/pseuds/watergator
Summary: dan and phil make new changes
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 115





	new lines

“I’m not  _ nervous _ ,” Dan’s wavers. Phil’s walking fast to keep up with his long stride, something he does when he’s actually nervous.

“I just have a crippling fear of permanency and commitment that I may regret later in my life and be unable to undo, therefore living with what might be a mistake for the rest of my life.”

Phil almost trips as he scoffs a laugh. The look at each other for a moment.

“So just the usual brain thinking, hm?”

Dan rolls his eyes at him before putting his head back down.

“It’s a big thing, Phil,” he tells him with a shake of his head.

Phil sucks in a breath. It  _ is  _ a big thing. It’s something they’ll have potentially forever. Something they might not ever go back on. It’s nothing like ordering a pizza.

You could order the Sizzler one week but the next you might change your mind and go for the Texas Barbecue, or  _ maybe _ if you really wanted to then the week after that you could just split it half and half.

Phil’s thinking, about permanency and life and now mainly food, when he comes to a halt as they find themselves outside the tattoo shop.

Dan shoves his hands into his coat pockets and looks at Phil.

“We can always back out now,” he tells him, voice edging on something teasing and taunting.

But Phil shakes his head. “No,” he tells him, willing his legs to move and pushing the door open.

“We can do this.”

*

They do end up doing it. Phil winces the entire time and Dan laughs at him until it’s his turn.

He says it was less of a physical pain and more of an emotional one, watching ink bleed into the skin along his ribs under his armpit where it’ll stay now.

He looks up at Phil with red eyes as the needle pokes and prods at him, making the modifications to his body and Phil simply gives him a thumbs up of encouragement.

Despite the pain, Dan manages a smile.

*

They’re told how to take care of their new ink, how to avoid infection and what they should do if they think they’ve done it all wrong. Phil listens a third and a fourth time before Dan’s dragging him out of the shop with a huff.

They find a little coffee shop to duck into. They’ve deserved something sweet, Dan thinks.

Phil orders two slices of rocky road, two hot chocolates and a couple of festive looking biscuits all piled up on the tray rather greedily.

Dan smiles and shakes his head as he plucks up one of the treats and takes a bite.

It’s too good to be legal.

“How are you feeling?” Phil asks as he holds the mug in his hands.

Dan touches tentatively at his side as he swallows his food. Even though the skin there, as delicate as it may be, is wrapped up in protective plastic and under the layers of his jumper and his coat, he can still feel the cold there, biting at the sensitive skin.

“Bit Scared,” he tells him. “Aren’t you scared?”

Phil takes a sip of his drink and shakes his head. He has milk running across his top lip before his tongue darts out to swipe at it.

“No. A little bit, but I like it. It’s something I like so I know I’m not going to hate it.”

Dan swallows thickly. “Right,” he says, and picks up a biscuit and breaks it in half just to see the crumbs escape from the inside.

*

They go home and Dan takes off his clothes.

He throws his shirt to the ground because Dan wants to just look at himself. He takes himself into the bedroom and stands in front of the big mirror and just stares.

There, under his armpit, across his ribs is his tattoo. It’s red and sore looking but it’s there.

It’s not something that will wash off in the shower tomorrow morning.

It’s there forever now. It’s part of him. It’s another piece of Dan that he is.

Phil appears by the doorway, leaning up against the frame when his eyes meet Dan’s in the reflection.

“Show me yours,” is Dan’s first response.

Phil pulls himself away from the door and chuckles as he takes off his shirt carefully.

He stands next to Dan and raises his left arm.

“Does it hurt?” Dan asks as he looks at the space that holds his own new tattoo.

The skin under his bicep is also sore and red looking, but maybe not as aggravated as his own.

“A little, though, they said that the fat and muscle there helps ease the pain a little, so it’s not too bad really.”

He’s studying his own artwork, twisting and stretching as he looks at it from every possible angle. Dan’s staring at it too.

It’s gorgeous. Phil’s gorgeous and now he gets to love an extra gorgeous part of him.

They stand in silence for a moment, naked from the waist up as they both quietly admire one another.

“You’re not regretting it, are you?” Phil eventually speaks. His voice is quiet and calm, almost aware of his gentle he’s being.

Dan sighs and looks at his skin again.

“No,” he finds himself saying. “I don’t think I regret it.”

He hears Phil swallow. “But?”

Dan lets out a breath. He looks away from the mirror to look at Phil. The real Phil, not his reflection but the one he can see up close and touch and feel and love more honestly.

“But. Change is scary. There’s been so much change recently it’s just. Scary. That’s it.”

He laughs despite himself and feels his eyes frowning a little wet.

He looks away, wanting to avoid Phil’s face as he tries desperately to rearrange the thoughts in his head, jiggling them about as they push and squeeze at every nerve inside his head.

“Dan,” Phil whispers, his voice so quiet it disappears for a moment. Dan looks up at him.

“Do you remember why you picked that tattoo?” He asks, pointing to it on his body.

Dan glances back in the mirror where he has a clear view of it.

Little black lines, fine and simple run across his skin until little shapes appear. The bouquet of flowers that dances across his ribs is unmoving and solid. There as if it’d always been there with him.

“You said it meant growth,” Phil tells him.

“You wanted them because you told me it meant that you’d allowed yourself to move past things that were rooted deep within you,” he tells him and Dan sucks in a sharp breath.

“I did say that, didn’t I?” He croaks.

Phil smiles at him, the crinkles around his eyes run deep and true and Dan wants to reach up and just touch the skin there.

“I love yours,” Dan says, craning his neck to try and see a peak.

Phil twists his arm around to give him a better view.

“Yeah?” Phil says, admiring his own arm once again. 

Dan does love it. Inky black lines run in a similar style to his own. His own bouquet of flowers, a different more vibrant kind that grows around a crystal.

The dimensions are made clear with the minimal shading, and once the redness fades, Dan knows he’s going to want to snap a photo for just him to enjoy.

“It’s so you,” Dan mumbles, tracing gentle fingers around the wrap. He wants to touch and explore but he holds himself back until now.

He looks up to catch Phil looking at him with a soft expression.

“It’s me  _ and  _ it’s you,” he tells him.

Dan rolls his eyes with a scoff. “I hate it when you do that,” he tells him.

Phil gives a breathy little laugh. “Do what?”

Dan goes to shove him but instead clicks his tongue and grabs his shirt off the floor and shoved it back over his head, making sure to be careful of his side.

“Get all deep on me,” Dan eventually tells him with a quirk of his brows.

He watches Phil look back at his arm, extending it out.

“Look,” he says, touching at the stems, “this is you. You’ve grown with me,” he tells him as he touches as another stem growing beside it, intertwining and caught up within one another.

Dan hums. 

“And this,” he tells him, going over the little crystal that grows where a flower should be. “This is authenticity.”

Dan laughs. “Authenticity?”

They look at one another and Phil tries to frown at him.

They’d spent the last couple of nights awake talking about the designs, the ideas they had. Dan knows why Phil chose this look. He knows why he decided on this idea, he knows how much it means to him and what it represents.

The gem that appears out of what already had been grown stands tall and proud. It’s more than just a flower and a crystal.

It’s the perfect visualisation of who Phil is.

“Yeah,” he tells him. “Authenticity.”

His throat gets tight and his eyes go misty, as his eyes flicker from the tattoo back to Phil.

Change  _ is _ scary. It’s daunting and weird and terrifying.  But it’s less scary when you get to do it with someone you love.

He sniffs and blinks the dampness out of his eyes, feeling the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile.

Phil’s looking at him, face soft and loving like it always is.

Dan laugh, reaching out and tugging at free nipple, making Phil yelp, jumping back in surprise.   
  
Phil covers his poor nips with his arms and frowns at him, an offended look, until he breaks his facade as soon Dan is grinning at him, tongue running across his lips with what he’s sure is a devilish look.   
  
“Put a shirt on,” Dan tells him walking past Phil to swipe down and pluck the disregarded item off the floor by his feet. “Don’t want your poor new arm getting too exposed to anything too dangerous, now do we?”   
  
He hears Phil give a fond chuckle before he leaves the room.    
  


**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on tumblr !! @watergator


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